Pay no attention to the man behind the curtain.
Right before a show I am in a state of total focus and fear, I have dubbed a term for this as "being in the jazz". Several weeks of planning and practice have gone into the creating of a production. It all begins with hopeful hearts wanting a part at auditions and not understanding why they all don't make it. I see tears of joy and tears of sorrow. I hide in the distance and watch the faces and the reactions and learn about the character of the person by how they react. Some wander off quickly with a hollow expression, others congratulate others. There are ones who make it bounce and are joyous, they, unlike their adult counterparts have not yet learned to control or hide their emotions. The unrestrained joy is a blessing after seeing the sorrow of the un-cast. It is a lesson that they need to learn. I regret being the one to teach them that lesson.The school wants to give each child the same opportunity at times, they want them all to have parts in the show. Usually there is a large number of children who audition, sometimes near 100. If all the kids are special and get a part, then no one is special or more talented. The competition is there and makes us strive to be better than we are, to raise our personal standards. If there is no obtainable goal to reach then why reach. The challenge makes us stronger.
I stay in the shadows of backstage and watch them grow and then leave the stage. An empty spotlight in the memory of an illusionary art. I give them dreams, goals, and confidence to face life. I draw the curtain closed for another year and push them into the limelight of their own beginnings. The stage goes dark, the applause dwindles, the chairs are emptied. The shows go on. I stand backstage and give the last cue and throw a switch to say goodbye, hello.
~Curtain~
