Wrote down these thoughts on Christmas while out Christmas shopping:
1.Picking out the right Christmas tree is a science. Sneaking into your neighbor's yard to cut it down is an art.
2. I just put Santa hats on all my Halloween decorations.
3. Oh the weather outside is delightful, the balance on my account is frightful, what happened to all of my dough, I dunno, I dunno, I dunnnnoooooo.
4.Well, the people outside are frightful.
5. Giving me a Christmas ornament as a Christmas gift is like bringing vitamins to my funeral.
6. To all those who received a book from me as a Christmas present....They are due back at the library next Monday.
7. It only takes about 3 times of hearing the song "Frosty the Snowman" before I wish someone would push him into a hot tub.
8. If Jesus is the reason for the season.......why is that the church parking lot is empty and the WalMart parking lot is full?
9. Man, just think how crazy Gollum goes on the 5th day of Christmas.(For my nerd friends.)
10. If Santa’s helper takes a picture in the mirror, is that an elfie?
11. I love Christmas presents wrapped in bubble wrap... it's like two gifts in one!!.
12. In Dec, cops should take off the blue lights and make them green. It's more festive... Like getting pulled over by Santa.
13. What happens under the mistletoe stays under the mistletoe. (Actually saw this on a sweater...but it fit my list.)
14.He's making a list & checking it twice. ...sounds like Santa has OCD.
15. BOx of Batteries, Toy not included.
16. Handmade presents are scary because they reveal that you have too much free time.
17. If you haven’t got any charity in your heart, you have the worst kind of heart trouble.
18.You know you’re getting old, when Santa starts looking younger
19.Christmas is a race to see which gives out first your money or your feet.
20. Christmas hospitality does not extend to driving.
That should do it for a while. Looking back over this list may explain why I am not even halfway finished with my shopping. MERRY CHRISTMAS to you all. Remember there was only one real Christmas, the rest are just anniversaries.
