Pay no attention to the man behind the curtain.

     Right before a show I am in a state of total focus and fear, I have dubbed a term for this as "being in the jazz".  Several weeks of planning and practice have gone into the creating of a production.  It all begins with hopeful hearts wanting a part at auditions and not understanding why they all don't make it.  I see tears of joy and tears of sorrow.  I hide in the distance and watch the faces and the reactions and learn about the character of the person by how they react.  Some wander off quickly with a hollow expression, others congratulate others.  There are ones who make it bounce and are joyous, they, unlike their adult counterparts have not yet learned to control or hide their emotions.  The unrestrained joy is a blessing after seeing the sorrow of the un-cast.  It is a lesson that they need to learn.  I regret being the one to teach them that lesson.The school wants to give each child the same opportunity at times, they want them all to have parts in the show. Usually there is a large number of children who audition, sometimes near 100.  If all the kids are special and get a part, then no one is special or more talented.  The competition is there and makes us strive to be better than we are, to raise our personal standards.  If there is no obtainable goal to reach then why reach.  The challenge makes us stronger.  

I stay in the shadows of backstage and watch them grow and then leave the stage.  An empty spotlight in the memory of an illusionary art.  I give them dreams, goals, and confidence to face life. I draw the curtain closed for another year and push them into the limelight of their own beginnings.  The stage goes dark, the applause dwindles, the chairs are emptied.  The shows go on.  I stand backstage and give the last cue and throw a switch to say goodbye, hello.

~Curtain~

Home from the movie...barely. Car overheated on a dark route. Made it to Northside in Clinton by 11:15. Nearest service station closes at 11:00. Had the hood up after pulling into a church parking lot. Five minutes of assessing and getting ready to walk when a vehicle pulls in with lights shining on me. Out jumps somebodies mother or grandmother. You okay, do you need something? I told her that my car overheated. She said she lived in a subdivision right across the street and would bring my car some water. 

She drove off and disappeared into a wooded area. Another vehicle pulls up and a big guy rolls down his window and asks to help me. (It is here I will point out he was an African American because of recent events I want to stress there are great people helping strangers of any race.) I tell him the situation and we decide that the water is all I will need. As he drives off, the first car drives back up and my rescuer has brought a green flower water jug.

I pour it all in and my radiator absorbs it. Not enough. We walk around the church and look for a faucet. This woman doesnt know me and is walking in the shadows of a building with a stranger to help him/me. We cant find a faucet so she volunteers to go get more and off she goes. The air is humid again and she takes no time in getting back with not only the green flower waterer, but a huge cooler. We fill the radiator and she offers to follow me home. She refuses to take money or the green flower waterer back. God blesses me continuously. When driving past the wooded area where she had disappeared I realized it was the Gore residence. Mr Gore is known for his statues and his art, but now I know Mrs. Gore for her courage and heart.

Last night I was pulled over by a Jackson Police Officer.  I have so much  respect for most of them, however, this young man quickly pushed all of my buttons.

This is our conversation as I remember it.  the parenthesis are comments I wanted to make or embellishments for the readers enjoyment.  I do not believe this is what most officers are like.  Most that I have dealt with are respectful and professional.  This one was young and saying a lot of the wrong things.  I still think we should respect and appreciate these officers.  In his behalf, he didn't know who was in my car and whom he was approaching.  It was a late dinner and after 11:00 pm.

Officer: Sir, Did you realize this was an interstate?
Me: Yes sir (My pat answer.)
Officer: That means that we have a passing lane and a riding lane.
Me: Yes sir
Officer: You were riding in the passing lane.
Me: Yes sir. (Notice the pattern, I am establishing with the officer, builds the best relationship with them.)
Officer: I was about to chase another car, but I couldn't get around you.
Me. I just came off of 1-55 from the bridge. (Though, I am not sure you just made a fat joke.)
Officer: The bridge is nearly a mile behind us, you had plenty of time to move to the riding lane and I wanted to catch that car.
Me. Yes sir. (Would that be the bridge twenty yards behind us?  And where is this non existing car that you were seeing.)

Officer: Sir, where are you coming from?
Me. Supper with a friend. (Please don't say anything about him ending a sentence with a preposition, Please don't say anything about him ending a sentence with a preposition.)
Officer: How much have you had to drink?
Me: I don't drink, sir.
Officer: Laughing, Everyone drinks.
Me, Not me, not a lot of my family and I am pretty sure there are some religions that don't allow drinking. (notice the parenthesis were gone at this point.  Temper was starting to show and patronizing was about to begin.)
Officer: Whatever, I need to see your license and your proof of insurance.
Me: Here you go.
Officer: That was fast.
Me: I pulled them out when you pulled me over, I felt like you would be asking for them.
Officer: Is that a guilty conscious.
Me: No, it is a kind soul, not wanting you to wait, knowing you are probably busy chasing down Jackson's criminals. (Large smile, showing teeth.)

     * NOTE: the showing of teeth can be seen as friendly or aggressive, use at your digression.

Officer: Sir, do you have any weapons in your car?
Me: Two non firing revolutionary rifles, 7 western colt forty fives, also not firing, one track start up pistol, no ammo and three sturdy wooden chairs.
Officer: Are you trying to be funny?
Me: Not without pay sir.  I am a theatre teacher.
Officer: Is that all the weapons you have?
Me: I have no more guns or knifes in my car.
Officer: What does that mean?
Me: That I am not carrying any more guns or knifes....
Officer: Why did you say it that way?
Me: I wasn't sure what you were considering a weapon.  I have heard in self defense classes that keys can be a weapon and a pen can be a weapon...maybe that is why they say the pen is mightier than the sword....Oh yeah, I also have to fencing foils with a blunt tip in the back.
Officer: You have an answer for everything.
Me; (You have a question that isn't specific enough.)

Officer:  I am about to go run your license, is there anything I need to know before I go back there?
Me: I'm a donor and O positive.
Officer: I mean is there anything that is going to turn up on this card that says you've gotten in trouble before and are still in trouble.
Me: No sir. (There was an incident in the third grade, but surely that isn't still on my permanent record.)
Officer: Sit still.
ME.  (That is how it started in the third grade.)
Officer returning: Mr. McDade, your record seems clean.
Me: Seems?
Officer: Is there something I should know?
Me: I thought you were getting confirmation that it WAS clean and not seemingly clean.
Officer: Dispatch said you were okay.
Me: (Tell them I think they are alright themselves.)
Officer: I am going to let you off with a warning now, but I want you to know about the passing and driving lanes.
Me: (Thanks son, I probably saw more training films on it with bicycle safety during the 60's than you did on Sesame Street in the 90's.)
Thank you officer.  You have a good night.
Officer: Remember what I said.
Me: I will. (Because I am going to write this one down.)

Our streets are safe.

Candles reignited  
This is an update to a blog from 2008.  Reminded of it today and moved by some of the people no longer here.

by Kenneth McDade on Wednesday, December 10, 2008 at 12:47pm

The main point of this is to list 16 things most people dont know about you and then list 16 of your friends and something about them. Thought I would jot a few. Takes a little bit of self indulgence and introspect but kinda neat. Took the liberty of joining two that were so close together, I thought they should be one. 

1) I used to try to fly with a Superman cape. 
2) I get emotionally moved by old movies. 
3) I am allergic to Chocolate. 
4) My college years were awful and I hated them. 
5) I used to repel from mountains in Tennessee. 
6) I worked four summers at a Girl Scout camp, and became an honorary girl scout and earned merit badges. 
7) I love doing what others say is impossible. 
8) I have many friends who dislike theatre and don’t understand it. They help keep me grounded. 
9) My first paying job was making explosives at a firecracker company. 
10) I have never found my niche, but still enjoy the journey looking for it. 
11) I was going to be an electrical engineer until I got to college and discovered how much math was involved. 
12) I conquered Math as an adult, yet still have anxiety about it. 
13) I got beat up or pushed down almost every day of junior high…I survived Monster ball, beatings and two knife fights where I didn’t have the knife. 
14) I still have nightmares about junior high. 
15) God loves me so much, that He personally sent for me, His Son, to die. 
16) I love life and the adventure of everyday…I don’t know how to be bored. 

Clayton Southerland – A great actor with only himself as his limits. 

Brandi Southerland – A joy. My superheroinne friend with amazing superpowers. 

Lavonne Bruckner – An inspiration, never heard the word impossible. I think of the letters WWLD when I am asked to do an impossible task. Great Spiritual and Career leader, my hero.   Still amazed in 2012 by her not slowing down.
Kevin Ross – brother in spirit, art and life. No limits. Makes me stretch my imagination further than the extreme.  No longer physically here, but emotionally and mentally, he haunts my life.

Juniper Wallace - There is so much talent that she shows like an iceberg, you wonder if you have just seen the tip of it. There is an undercurrent of untapped talent waiting to emerge…we’re waiting. A spark is going off.....wait for it...

Wyeth Sibler- like a moth to a flame, so much energy and passion for theatre, give it time. The light is always there. Learn to fly more circles around it. 

Lori McDade – My sister, God’s favorite. We have shared the best jokes and stories. Bless her, she gets way to much of my humor. I am honored to be her friend and brother. Love her more every day.

Taylor Noelle – A true joy in my life. I so love the way she sees things as an adult and still keeps that kid inside. Now she is becoming a beautiful young lady and still sees the world in a wonderful light.

Lucy Chappell – My other sister and God’s other favorite. I always wanted to be like her. Still do. Never a dull conversation. Love her more every day.

Mitch Chappell – A champion, I am proud of his ambition and strength. His love of God and his commitment to work and getting things done. His growth into adulthood has been an adventure for me.  So proud, so, so very proud.

Brent Chappell – Never have I seen you follow anyone’s footsteps, you make new paths for others to follow, but you make sure God is leading you. Dreamer with big ideas and still finding the means to make those dreams come true.  Proud of you too.

Pattye Archer – My new friend and so underrated for the amount of things she does for so many people and organizations. At the time I wrote this I had no clue she did all the things she is doing still.  A true amazing role model and sweet heart. Thanks for all you do, you are an inspiration!
Beth Kander & Danny Dauphin – Two sides of a royal card. I met them about the same time and enjoy their wit and humor. Plus they do make an adorable couple. You two give off hope when you are not even trying.  Apart... super individuals with remarkable dreams and abilities...Together, a dream team.

Lea Freeny Browne – a true inspiration in the Spirit of God. She helped save my life by stepping out of her normalcy and stretching both of us to our limits. Good thing we don’t have any. Fearless.

Margaret Sullivan – A free spirit artist untamed by expectations. She was a student, then a friend. I wish I could see the world through your eyes one day. Your poems and stories help me see my own soul. Haven't seen as much of her, but know the free spirit is still souring...

Dan McDade, - My real brother.  Finally online. We went through hell to get along with each other over the years, but we always loved each other. Best adventures were with Dan when we went on journeys where there were no adults guiding us.  We walked to the moon and back and saw the world in a different light.

Ben McDade - Adventurer, artist, scifi-er.  Love your heart and soul.  You were/are always a joy in our life. You are loved.

Stephen McDade - Karate kid who would spend summers playing in our trees and selling lemonade in our driveway.  You are an entrepreneurial spirit with a heart of gold.  You are loved.

Samantha Johnson: Sweet little Sam,. a true spirit of energy and caring.  You take care of so many people and have the biggest heart.  You are wonderful.  You are loved.

My Mom... a role model in every way.  Love you.

Crash

CRASH

Earlier this week my computer crashed.  Normally this would cause a lot of pain and suffering to most people, but I am one of those people that backs up files.  I know I can retrieve the files if needed.  Still, my computer crashed.  This may not seem like a lot in this throw away world, people say, go, buy  another one.  My laptop is special, it is more than a writing tool or an access port to social frenzies.

 My computer was one of my last physical gifts from my Dad before he passed away in 2007.  Now I know not to put too much into that, the computer is a thing, not really a part of my dad, still he pushed hard to get each of his kids a computer before he left us.  His reasoning behind it was that he saw the computer as a way of reaching out to knowledge and education and he wanted us each to have these things.  Out of his four kids, my computer came first.  It was a top of the line computer for 2007 and had a processor that moved with amazing speed.   Dad had done well and he was still alive when it arrived and he was so proud of it for me.   I was out of work at the time and looking for a job.  I had just left a job that was both rewarding and demeaning, my self esteem was low.   The computer picked me up and gave me a hope for a future I couldn’t see clearly.  Suddenly, there was a light at the end of the tunnel.  Dad helped me open it and was the first to hold it.  He handed it back to me and sat in his chair worn out by the opening of the box and the Cancer he was fighting, smiling from ear to ear.  It was a great moment.  I wish I could give the moment to my little sister, her computer came later after his death and I was there to help her open it.  She broke down in tears wishing more for her daddy than the cold inanimate object in front of her.  I understood.

My computer has been a great holder of family history with genealogy (the real reason I back up files), pictures, (another reason) and my writings.  The computer sends me anywhere in the world with just the touch of a few buttons.  It is a portal through time and space and a reminder of the responsibility we have to each other.  When my computer broke down I took it in to a computer doctor friend and received a call today that told me it was finished.  The hard drive can be replaced, but it is so old in computer years that a new computer would make more sense.  I was quiet on the phone and didn’t say anything for a while.  My friend was equally quiet, that is what makes a good friend.  My computer is not my dad and I have a wealth of beautiful memories from a great man that hug and haunt me at different times.

I watched my dad coach and steer young people of all ages to try to better themselves and respect others, baseball was his best outlet for this.  I played some baseball but my favorite thing about the sport was how my dad shaped a group of people into a team filled with self-respect and the courage to achieve whatever they wanted both on a sporting field and in their personal lives.  The lives he touched are still reaching out and touching others like a long lost stone rippling in the water.  The ripples are still reaching out.

 This week is emotional because I have been working hard on another theatre performance and I am tired and a little sentimental about a lot of things.  My little computer made me happy because it came from a giant of a man.  The giant gave me a lot of other things as well, things that carry on in my adulthood that make me try each day to be a better man.   I miss my dad, my computer can be replaced.  Dad, he was one of a kind.

~curtain~

Test from phone

yoikes

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Bicycle ride (This was written at first of the year)

It has been 20 years since I have ridden any bike.  It was a mountain bike that I truely loved.  I miss that bike, I won it by guessing a trivia question on a local radio station.  It lasted for several years and slowly due to my schedule disappeared into disuse. 

I learned to ride a bicycle at my grandfather's house on an old bike that was much to big and made in the forties or fifties.  My Grandfather placed me on the bike and pointed me towards the street.  Unfortunately the street was Capitol Street, a main street in my area.  I learned to ride quickly that day and also learned to stop almost as quickly.  Also, I learned the effects of a male bicycle when you attempt to stop and land stradling the middle bar that signifies that it is a male bike.  This device has nearly crippled me on more than one occassion.  That day was the first.


The bike I remember the most was a gift from Santa.  It was a purple Schwinn Spyder, with a glitter Banana seat.  This would be the one with the card in the spokes to make it sound like a small engine. Plus the chopper handlebars. Several of my neighbors also got the same bike, we were so cool.  So many adventures on that bike that would take me from my main story.  Maybe for future writings.  Still this wonderful bike would be my magic carpet for those trips.  

Okay enough plot exposition, moving back up these twenty years to this past weekend.  I have two friends that are my walking and travel buddies, we meet almost every weekend to walk or go on a short road trip.  Saturday we were going south to Hattiesburg to find the new walking trails we had heard so much about.  After arriving in Hattiesburg and finding the trail, we discovered that an organization rented bikes to ride the straightway path.  I saw a bike like the first one I had ridden, no gears, not frills, Just candy apple red touring bike.  I was ready to ride.  After paying the fee.  I took it out side.  My friends were on their bikes with gears and already on the way.  I stopped to look at the bike before getting on it.   It was a little taller than I would have liked, the middle bar was there and looked as dangerous as ever.  There is an old saying that you never  forget how to ride a bike...I am not sure that statement is totally true.  Gravity, age and weight have confused my body into thinking that it is a different shape, when I run, I feel like an alien has taken over my body.  This is not the body of my youth.  I jumped onto the bike and let the forward momentum carry me forward.  I was on the bike, but not yet riding, I had to convince my body that gravity could let go of me long enough to let me jump up to the pedals.  Finally, after three attempts, I was pedalling and wabbling down the path.  The bicycle was awesome.  I felt a giddyness that was akin to a Christmas night.  I was flying again.  I was a kid in my domain, all was well.  After a few minutes of riding I began to have vague memories of leg cramps and sore muscles .  My body was tightening up and I was starting to feel the pressure. We passed the five mile sign, I was getting tired.  We then reached a slight decline in the pavement and I was able to coast a while.  My buddies and I finally decided that we had gone far enough and decided to head back to our starting point.  Imagine our surprise to realize that we had gone out 7.5 miles, this meant another 7.5 miles to get back to our car.  A total of 15 miles.  This was incredible.  I have not exercised in quite a while and was amazed that I made it this far.