Why we are

     Ever wonder why we are the way we are?  Some will say environment, some will say heredity,some will say it is chemical, and some will say, “He just ain't right.”  I haven’t been right lately.  Stress has been a monster to me.  The monkey on my back so to speak.  I have let it take over.  This week at our school a student based worship service was taking place.  Because of this service I had extra duty standing in the cafeteria for an hour watching the students who didn't want to be a part of this event.  On top of that I am competing with a group in a festival, competing on an individual level as well.  Plus I had detention duty and test duty all in the same week.  I lost sleep and I haven’t seen many friends in the last week or so.  My budget is tight because it is right after Christmas.  In class I caught myself almost complaining about the worship service jokingly calling it a hop-a-long Jesus thing (A term coined by one of my deeply religious college professors).  One of the students in the class asked me, “Mr. McDade, are you a Christian?”  This is the first time in my life I have ever been asked directly by someone that wasn't about to ask me for money as well.  It caught me off guard.  Can’t they tell?  All my life I have been associated with church or church work.  When the doors of the church were opened I was there, when they closed, I was there to turn out the lights.  I considered several times in my life going into the ministry.  I wanted to be a preacher, a missionary, a youth leader or at least a Christian Comedian.  Instead I felt called to teach.  Not at first, but God has a way of putting you where he needs you.  Whether you want to go or not (Think Jonah).  Sometimes he has to hit you with a two by four before you start singing, “He touched me….”  “Yes,” I told the student.  Then I wondered what I had done to share my commitment to Jesus Christ in recent years.  I pray before meals, more out of self-defense than thankfulness. I lead the students in prayer before shows.  God and I talk constantly.  Sometimes He laughs at what I say too. I try to listen, but I get caught up in the mundane of daily living.  I get beat down by giving myself so much to do that I don’t take out the time to rest.  I do believe.  I also believe that God wants us to take time out and rest.  God showed us an example on the last day of creation by resting.  He tells us to take the time and come to know him.  The Bible is filled with “Be still and know I am the Lord, or Peace be still, or come unto me all you who are weary and I will give you rest.” God promises peace to those who take the time to listen and trust.  I am Kenneth McDade and I am a worry-a-holic.  I stress, I get depressed, and bummed out.  I want to quit sometimes and just say, “That’s it”…but I know there is more than the low times, there is the time I reach out for Christ and he is already there waiting for me, just to rest. I wonder sometimes if I hang on to things too much and too tightly, or am I letting go before I should.  The problems of a worrier.  My best times are when I give my problems to God and let go; hardest thing to do, but He is going to be up all night anyway, might as well let Him handle things.  I have a strong faith, it will not be easily shaken.  My foundation in my faith is strong.  I had praying parents, Grandparents, siblings, and family.  Later I had friends whose faith also helped me along.  But it wasn't until I made that personal step to have that relationship with God that my life changed.  Yes, I was very young, but what happens when you start loving someone is you want to do things that please them.  I love the God and all that He has done for me and my family.  I try not to over use the word blessed but I am and I am thankful.  So, please forgive my grumpiness as I push aside the me, that is oh, so human and strive for the better person I can be.

~Curtain~